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Some day, i wish to be taller then i am today.

Jilliums Hilliums @Emptygoddess

Age 38, Female

Liver of life

Cool place

Life

Joined on 3/13/07

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Emptygoddess's News

Posted by Emptygoddess - November 11th, 2009


Not even god if he, she, or it (as I like to imagine god as some kind of really awesome blob creature with a big eye stock) could stand in my way. Anyone who dares appose me, I will beat with a stick made out of their own spine. How would I craft this stick? By ripping out their spine, and then beating them with it.

It's true that once their spine is removed the act of beating them is largely unnecessary but I'd be so freaken mad I'd have to give their slumped spineless forms a few good wacks.

If an army stands in my way I will spontaneously gain laser eyes, and then grow laser eyes all over my head, making me a walking death cannon turret of doom. If a T-rex attempts to eat me, I will become so fowl tasting that instead he offers me a ride to where I am going. Riding my dinosaur steed I will face every foe and every obstacle, knocking aside cars as if they were candy. Swallowing old ladies as if they were candy. Crushing orphanages as if they were candy!

If faced with a ninja horde chucking ninja hoard ninja throwing knives and junk, I would pluck the very stars from the sky as my own throwing weapon and toss stars made out of pure plasma at them. Sending their burned tattered remains back to the depths of mordor or whoever ninjas come from.

and if a little girl gets in my way I'll kick her in the shins and make her cry.

Nothing will stop me. For I want...

I...

huh.

I honestly don't even remember what I was writing this about.

Never mind then. Continue with your lives. May the saturation of useless knowledge continue unabated in your internet travels.


1

Posted by Emptygoddess - November 2nd, 2009


We all know Mega Man. Or if you don't know Mega Man you should go out right now and buy one of the Mega Man collections, play them, decide which games in the series you like and which games you don't, go over to the capcom forums and get into flame wars about it.

But most of us know Mega Man. He is our friend! He is our savior! He is a super fighting robot who looks like he's ten or so. He's really cool. Or at least, I thought he was, until I realized just how bad a father his creator Dr. Light is. So he screwed up and now his old partner or whatever is trying to take over the world with his creations. What does he do? He gives his robot son thing battle armor and the ability to turn his hand into a gun.

Not really the best fathering move ever, but the world was in danger, so it can be over looked.

My issue? In-between horrible outbreaks of terror, it seems that Mega Man walks around in the armor all the time for the most part, and retains his ability to turn his hand into a gun. It should be noted that Dr. Light does seem to remove all the other abilities and weapons mega man gets between games, and yet lets him keep his gun hand.

I was young once, and I can tell you, if my hand could turn into a gun, there would be a lot of dead people in this world.

Parent: Go clean your room.

Me: Make me.

Parent: Look, clean up your room or you can't have friends over this weekend.

My gun hand: *BLAM*

Me: Well, that's one mess cleaned up.

My gun hand: *Cocks dramatically*

Sure Mega Man fights for everlasting peace and has a sense of unparalleled justice, but when your hand can turn into a laser canon at a thought, it doesn't take much for you to be staring at a smoking crater that is your sister after an argument over who gets to use the TV.

So I put the question to you, Dr. Light: Genius roboticist? Or Horrible parent?


Posted by Emptygoddess - October 26th, 2009


I am thankful to cars.

I am thankful they have not crashed into me shattering my bones like kindling and splattering me like a watermelon. It is something that makes me happy. Most people do not realize that a car has little to fear from them. On their bike, motorcycle, feet shoes. As we walk down the street, and cross the walk.

The cross walk is not magical. The white lines do not ward away those demonized boemethic contraptions that sputter spur and roar. If they so chose at any moment they can rush forward, and bear down upon unsuspecting victims, grinding them to a fine mushy paste.

So I am thankful to the cars, for their kindness in showing me lenience as I walk through my life. I thank them with the grace and subtle dignity they hold, gazing upon us all under headlamps of transcendence.

I shall always respect our mechanized masters.

---

On a very unrelated note I put up an animation!

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
515407

Yup. It's there. It's a secret though. Shhhhhh. Only tell the cool kids. Or really, only people you think would like it. It's kinda weird.


Posted by Emptygoddess - October 12th, 2009


Ah Load runner, 1983 at its finest.

Anyone who doubts the greatness of a game that came out in 1983 and had a stick figure as a protagonist need only look at the box art for the commodore 64 version.

Check it.

Never sense ED-209 have robots without opposable thumbs looked so menacing. With their grabby crushy claws reaching for his junk as he.... shoots his gun, while... I'm not sure what he is doing. He appears to be half floating half hanging half dropping gold all over the place. But that's what the game is about!

For those that don't know, Load Runner is one of the most sadistically perverse games ever made. Back in 1983 they were already pumping out games that combined the maddening frustration of puzzle solving, with the sadistic glee of torture and murder.

You run around, climb around, and monkey bar around grabbing gold. Why do you need the gold? This is old style gaming, you need gold because gold is there, its treasure. You inherently want treasure because it is treasure. Questioning it is stupid.

How do you get the treasure? You dig holes with a laser gun that can disintegrate about 20 cube feet off bricks in a single blast. You cannot turn this gun on the evil robot/androids/hapless guards wondering why the hell you're blowing up bricks or what you're doing robbing this very weirdly designed gold depository.

Instead, you can only blow up the ground (not the ground right under you, as that would be too simple) and trap the guards inside it. As we all know, bricks are a fast healing meta creature, and so within a short space of time the bricks start to heal, closing up... slowly, ever so slowly... crushing the guard you have trapped in the whole to death.

I find this concept of combat intriguing and horribly terrifying. I used to have panic attacks as I'd realized that I had accidently trapped myself in such a hole, and it was only a matter of time before he bricks started to grow again, sealing me away for all time like the end of the only edger alan poe story that doesn't involve tattle tale hearts people bother to read.

In the end, we could all learn something from Load Runner (the character not the game, not that I know whether or not that's what the protagonist is supposed to be called but uh... come on, he's Load Runner! He runs the load). We should fight the good fight, collect the treasure, build complicated traps to ensnare our foes in horrible traumatizing ways, and do our best not to fall into our own webs of lies and strangle within them.

Wise words. Wise words extrapolated from a badly drawn stick figure.

He's the load runner!


Posted by Emptygoddess - September 21st, 2009


Eight arms trail. Through a misty inky veil.

The world cannot taste which comes through that blackness that forever is the universe of the not quite squid. A twisted knotted rotten log, or a broken ship to tear and be unto itself in that deep. Twisted with a need that grows and spreads and will not be contained inside a full and complete desire that must escape before it bursts.

And up it comes with a glurshukling crash. Crawling with a clawing cracking nabby nook. Octopus, it seeks the truth. A beak that cracks wide the lies, letting free of foamy sickness intrepidly onwards and indomitably out.

Then, after the weird surreal quasi moronic poetic waxing is done sometimes, if it's the right species, the octopus crawls up out of the water and hunts on the land itself.

How freaken weird is that? I'd scream if i saw an octopus crawling around the rocks looking to latch onto my head and kill me. I'd scream so loud. Flail, and probably fall off into the ocean, where it would have the advantage.

You would as well, you know it.


Posted by Emptygoddess - September 14th, 2009


All you funky kids nowadays with your popinfresh haircuts and your lollypop smiles seem to be all about the twitter feeds.

I don't like twitter. Mostly because I am old and it is new and scary. It frightens me. Upon threats from realities and friends I now have a twitter thingamabob. I will never post anything of value on this. It is a bunch of half nonsensical mini rants about nothing at all. Once I said I was on fire. This is the kind of highbrow entertainment my twitter feed provides.

So as to appear normal, I will tell you all to go follow me on twitter. This way you can stay updated on my day to day... well not activities, because I won't put those up there. But about once a month I put up five or so pointless blurbs. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I just don't post on twitter at all. Imagine that.

So if you want to stay updated on my pointless blurbs, follow my twitter feed!

If you don't... don't... follow my twitter feed. That would be weird, and it would make you very much insane.

Thank you for your time.

TWITTER FEED! (In case you're hungry... for twitter)


Posted by Emptygoddess - August 26th, 2009


It was! It really was.... second highest scoring ever for like, point five seconds!

Freaken weird. The animation in question is http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
368565
an animation that while I don't think it's bad... is NOT the second best animation this site has ever seen. By any qualification other than that dreamed up by a madman who is in love with and stalks me.

I found how this happened, to be very interesting. When the animation was first submitted, like two years ago, it received a decent score. It got the daily fifth. I was pleased.

Recently I submitted another animation that did very well. People liked it a lot. It got daily third! or forth...o r second... or... it got a nice award as well! Some liked it. Some hated it. Yet it was part of a series, only those that liked it went and watched the other bits... and then because they already liked the series and my humor, voted it five. Allowing for a dramatic over inflation of the score of that inconsequential animationy bit.

Also, as it had only been seen by very few people in the long run, not all that many votes were required to up the score.

And thus madness was able to occur.

Still, the print screen I took of this moment is now my computer desktop and probably will be for awhile. And I will always hold a grudge against turtle toss for keeping me from claiming to have had at one time the 'best scoring' animation on newgrounds.

Don't worry though, once people noticed something as small and pixilated and odd as that animation was so high they quickly remedied the situation. It's score is now a safe 4.20 or so. The citizens of newground struck with swiftness and justice once again.

They are vigilantes of their own streets, and they will not stand for such injustice.

Thanks for everyone who voted it high and pushed it up there. And a special shout out to everyone who voted it back down. That was weird and freaky, the world was not right, and you have once more put things as they should be.

So one of my flash animations was the second highist scoring ever...


Posted by Emptygoddess - August 13th, 2009


Glory be!

It's only been like two years but I have made another flash animation, and I think I'll use this internet journalmathingamabob to do what it was meant to do. Promote said flash animation.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
507228

Behold, a glorious flash animation using pixels and the power of continuous frames of images to make it seem, as if by magic, that the images are infact moving. DO NOT BE ALARMED. I am no witch or wizard, it is simply an opti-litical illusion based upon the nature in which we all view the world.

Also a really big thanks to Tom for increasing the file limit for uploads for me. Despite my best efforts the video came out to twelve megs. A few more then I was hoping for. He was willing to change that for me, and thus is wonderful.

As for watching it yourself, be warned, it is a pixel animation based on the legend of Zelda game series. It's very long (over twenty minutes) and it has no gratuities violence or sex jokes. Though if you want those there are many other bewitching animations else ware on this fair site that will accommodate you.

Best wishes world of the living.

-always

Empty


Posted by Emptygoddess - June 3rd, 2009


So is mine.

Yet as life goes on I seem to hear more and more random people's opinions. Even worse, I have to hear random people's opinions, in 'blog' (blog is a stupid word) form.

I'm writing such a thing right now. I can tell you in no uncertain terms that it is acid splittingly stupid. You can look back through every post I have written and you won't find a valid well thought out or reasonable opinion anywhere in there. Why would I bother to have a valid opinion?

Am I held accountable for what I say here on the internet? Sorta, I guess, if someone spends way too much time to find out who I am, hunt me down, and punish me for the things I say...

But that has only happened to me once, and that guy's in jail now. Or he was, I should check on that.

I don't watch TV, read the newspaper, or browse yahoo news to listen to random people. I want educated (or pretty, especially if it's on TV) people employed by those good institutions telling me the facts as they see them. I don't need it muddled by the common filth!

The average person is stupid, and annoying. As an average person I can say I'm both, also us average people are mean. Really mean, like scoop your eyes out with a spoon and spit into each socket mean. We make comments on peoples internet journals that are like 'Tard! u r such a gay fag tard lol1!' and they don't even know me. They don't even know me and yet they say hurtful things like that and I don't know why, and I ask them why and they just say MORE hurtful things...

And late at night, I can still read the taunts and the loling, scrolling through the parser of my mind.


Posted by Emptygoddess - April 28th, 2009


Warning: most likely this post has already offended you, and it does not get better.

Offensive words are funny. I think the most I've laughed in awhile was trying to make sure that this post's subject was properly spelled. Of course, n***a is a colloquial slang misspelling of the common racist word used to fling offenses at people of African American or occasionally other non white decent. The proper spelling of the word is n****r, (yup complete with four asterisk marks for added precision). Other uses of it include a friendly hello between very street savvy people of African American decent. At least if TV has taught me anything. Never having been on a street, I wouldn't know first hand of course.

Why would checking the spelling of n***a amuse me? Well, it turns out that the MS word spell-check will not ever suggest the proper spelling of n****r or cunt or other 'naughty' words. But, if spelled correctly, knows that's what I meant to spell.

Yes that's right, the MS Word spell checker has been taught shame.

This to me is really only a few steps from teaching it how to defeat us in a global battle of man vs. machine. I am terrified.

I spell the word n***a in this post because I remember a hilarious story involving that pronunciation. It was when a friend of a friend of mine was playing a sonic game. Now to properly picture this you must realize that this urban legend is a large black man. He is also a game tester. He was testing out the new sonic game and the new villain of this sonic game is an evil, shadowy version of the standard 'eggman' or if you're cool 'dr robotnick'

So the cut scene when something like this.

Sonic: OH NO! It's Eggman N***a!

Tails: EGGMAN N***A?!

Sonic: Eggman N***a!

Large black game tester: ....ooooh no.

Hilarity.

Of course he's actually named eggman nEgga. As in negative, but it sure didn't sound that way the first time I heard the cut scene either.

I thought I would share, also I felt like using a word I should never use, like n****r. It's really not a nice word at all, with a long and quite painful history. Not being a n****r myself I have no right using this word at all and really should stop. My ancestors were not enslaved, and I know nothing of the music of the streets.

I'm sure someone is like 'what does streets have to do with n****rs?', I'm using a stereotype of hip hop culture for... hip hop? or is it rap culture. Or... I... are they different cultures? Is rap and hip hop the same thing? For that matter is there really all that much difference between country and 'rock'? Also how do people claim that Elvis and Tom Petty are playing the same kind of music. Does 'rock' just mean anything with drums in it? Are the drums the rock part of rock? or is it the guitar? Why did we ever lose the roll? Remember when rock used to roll?

Rock hasn't rolled in such a long time.

So in anger I'll call someone a cunt. It doesn't matter who. At least in the United States, that's pretty much the worst thing I can call a woman. Some kind of qualifier really punches it up. "you little-" or "lazy good for nothing-" or "I wish I had a-" if you're transsexual. The word cunt is alot like the word n****r. It's bad because it makes people feel bad. Which is sometimes good, if say you hate that person. So I guess it's kinda nice to have such words available. I mean if you have a black female friend who you want to end that friendship with in a truly dramatic and poignant way, well, I think you know how to do it.

It's funny how that happens, how words gain such incredible power. The words don't mean anything. The people using them and having them used on make the meanings. When someone wants to hurt someone, and they use a word, and it actually does hurt them, they'll keep using it. Until that word is associated with that hurt in such a way that people have to apologize publicly if they use words there are close to those words and a few people watching misheard.

Personally I think they're lazy. Like sometimes I hear girls, (once again this is in the US, I know the word cunt is used differently in some other places) complain that there is no good equivalent for that insult to a guy. He goes 'you stupid cunt' and they have nothing to shoot back at him.

Well, you could always point out that he's a really lazy insulter and clearly put no thought into it, just going to that dry well isn't impressing anyone. It's like if I was going to be racist, there are so many better things to do then run to an overused derogatory.

Now girls thinking there is no good insult to toss back just shows how ignorant they are on how to insult. Try pussy. What's funny is how similar the word pussy and cunt are. But you call a guy a pussy, he generally doesn't like that. You call a guy in the US a cunt, he'll probably just be confused and think you have mistaken him for a cunt (you know, a girl). But ladies, let fly something like "you cowardly pussy lipped cock sucker." Which I think is pretty hurtful.

The truth of course is that most guys who are going to call you a cunt to your face probably don't care enough about you as a person to be insulted by anything you say. So just go for the nut punch. They may become enraged and murder you, leaving a blood smear across the apartment wall, but if you did the nut-punch properly you have removed them from the gene pool and thus improved mankind.

Which of course brings us to fuck. I fucking hate the word fuck. It's overused like the fucking fuck fuck. Whatever fuck decided to start using fuck as the go to word needs to get capped.

An example of a sentence I actually heard. "That fucking fuck fucking fucked me. FUCK! I'm gunna fuck his fucking face."

And sometimes you see stuff like that in movies, in back and forth between characters. I guess it's trying to show the realistic way people talk? Or maybe the writers just are overjoyed the movie is rated R and they get more than one F word and forget there are other words? I don't know.

I kind of like the pg 13 rule of just one hard fuck. You use a word like fuck too much and it loses its fucking punch. Fuck. I mean I doubt that anything I'm saying at this point if you're still reading, has anywhere near the impact that the subject title did. But if you use the word fuck once a year, that's a good fuck. You can scare the hell out of someone with that fuck. Or you can really get off on that fuck. Or whatever you fucking do with your fucks.

And then there's the fucking holocaust. And the Nazis. If we want to get offense, have you ever tried walking around decked out in swastikas? I thought we had free speech. Oh and apparently "I'm getting in touch with my German ancestry." Isn't an 'appropriate' explanation. Also statements like "It's all right, I have Jewish friends." Just seems to make it worse.

Long story short I'm apparently banned from all bar mitzvah like things in the tri state area.

The truth is though people get a little hung up on Hitler and Nazism. It was a terrible hilarious thing that happened. But it is but one of many terrible hilarious things like it throughout history. And but one of many terrible hilarious things that will happen as history moves on, possibly involving me as a victim. Well hopefully not that last one, but I'm being realistic.

I understand that world war 2 was a very big moment in history, but I'm kinda sick of it. If I have to see one more special on Rommel the desert fox or hear another funny anecdote about exploding bats and nuclear bombs, I'm going to freaken start rounding up a minority and working them to death. I mean it. I'll freaken holocaust baby kittens if I have to. That should get a rise out of the YouTube generation.

YouTube watcher: This guy is killing Australians, he's hunting them down...

Other YouTube watcher: Yeah well this chick is killing KITTENS.

YouTube watcher: Oh fuck that bitch cunt. How could she. Those kittens were cute.

Other YouTube watcher: Australians are kinda cute.

YouTube watcher: Kitten cute?

Other YouTube watcher: 'Kitten is a ninja' cute, but not quite 'kitten waking up' cute.

YouTube watcher: Kitten waking up is a good one.

That imaginary exchange might have been exasperated by the fact that whenever someone links me to something on YouTube it involves kittens. Generally waking up. Apparently kittens waking up is the none porn equivalent of crack cocaine to net users.

When someone links me to something on newgrounds, I can say that it rarely has kittens, when it does they normally die. The common newgrounds themes seem to be unnecessarily violence. Gay jokes. Random pointless shock humor. And slightly offensive racist or sexist material. Mix and match as one wishes.

Which is overall superior to kittens.

This giant tirade about offensiveness caps off with anime. This is probably just me, but I've had some people react to the word anime as if it were a terribly dirty and offensive word. This seems silly. While I do admit I generally prefer the term 'Japanese animation' as it is more specific the word anime doesn't disserve scorn.

Anime is just the Japanese doing what the Japanese do best. Taking American things, such as the word animation, and streamlining them in an industrious fashion to make it cuter, bloodier, and have bigger eyes.

Thus animation is shortened to anime!

The prevalence of the popularity of Japanese animation has caused it to have as many popular things do, those people that simply hate everything about it. Despite the fact that it is far too wide a thing with far too many nuances and caveats to ever be able to claim one despises all of it without coming off as an ignorant fool.

Like those people that 'hate TV' but 'love movies'.

Stop it. You're not fooling anyone. We're on to you and we think you're stupid. There's no way you can watch enough TV if you don't watch TV to form a decent opinion about whether or not there's anything worth watching on TV. You have to be a TV watcher to do that, and most TV watchers clearly enjoy TV at least somewhat or they wouldn't watch TV!

SO STOP TELLING ME ALL TV IS LAME IF YOU DON'T WATCH TV!

I'll kill you. You'll go in the fucking labor camps with the kittens.

Well, I can honestly say that this is probably the first thing I've ever written where I'm a little worried if it'll get me into trouble.

I should probably just delete the whole thing. It is in poor taste.

Oh and the reason all the youtube's are spelled the way they are is because the MS word spellcheck? It corrected me. The proper spelling is apparently YouTube. Thank you MS word for knowing that, but not knowing what the fuck newgrounds is.

..............hope you enjoyed reading it.