Dear internet:
Here are some things out of context, though the context really doesn't help, that I have said that in hindsight I really should not have said. Come with me down memory lane of grievous verbal errors.
This was said at a feminist party: "French may be the language of love, but German is the language of rape."
This I uttered at another party (non feminist): "Those columbine kids sure did the world a favor." - no context makes this okay.
It doesn't matter who the hell I said this to it's a horrible thing to say to anyone: "No one will ever love you for your personality, they will only ever love you for your body."
Said to a doctor who asked a very strange question: "well, I guess if I had to choose, I'd be AIDs."
At a job interview: "I'm not worried about the background check. The bodies are buried way to deep."
Later, during that same interview: "I'm also secretly a lizard." -I was repeating in my head not to mention anything about being a serial killer, apparently I forget that I'm a moron.
Spoken to a mother holding her infant child, the fifth child she has had in her life: "You know, sudden infant death syndrome gets more likely with every child you have." - hell I'm pretty sure that one isn't even true.
It is not a good idea to say during a psychological review: "I'm really freaken schizophrenic, I mean, look at this, I managed to conjure up a really dead on shrink's office." - luckily he laughed instead of having me committed.
At the airport: "If I swallowed the right substances I could probably turn myself into a living bomb."
To a crazy homeless man. "here, have one of my business cards." -this story does not have a happy ending.
To my loved ones: "I really don't feel like going to grandpa's funeral." - ouch.
To more of my loved ones: "You know, I don't think I like your kids." - it's been three years, and this one still comes up.
In a business meeting: "what our group really need to do is be more like Voltron."
At work: "Friday? I can have that done by Wednesday. Easy." -I don't work there anymore. these two things may be related.
To a friend: "If I was gay, I would not date you."
To the person driving the car: "LOOK OUT! INVISABLE WALL!!!"
When deciding between speaking, and being silent, I have found that for me silence is almost always the correct choice.
Olimar011
You're either a complete dick, or have an awesome sense of humour. :D
Emptygoddess
The first is most likely. Both are a possibility.