I'm terrified of going viral.

It's a horrifying idea.

Oh sure everyone wants to become an internet superstar for a few days over something cool. Eating a billion hotdogs, or catching a bullet with your teeth. That'd be sweetness. True golden sweetness. Like delicious golden apples, only instead of tasting like glory they spark a war that threatens to destroy not only all the great nations but the very pantheon of gods itself!

Like where you take a digital photo of yourself in your badass new goggles and send it to a friend, only to find out that over on some web forum you're now used in forum posts as an imagerial representation of loser. With phrases like 'internet superhero' thrown around, which sounds like a fun thing to be called, but you don't get any super powers, and you get made fun of!

If you got super powers at least you could laser eye those that mocked you. Or punch them at super speeds while their faces deform like they're in a centrifuge.

Or even worse, what if you pour your heart and soul into the creation of something? Only to find out that the reason you got six billion hits is because people think it's just so stupid they have to see it?

heh... okay that'd be pretty funny. Especially if you made like a youtube video where you were crying and begging people to stop making fun of you, and you got the snot boogers going on.

With the tears.

Still, no one wants to be that guy, or that girl. Well, some do I think. I don't. I don't want to be 'that person, who did the thing, with that fruit' which gets like a zillion hits and remixed a bunch. What I did with that fruit was private, who the hell was even filming me?

Scary world we live in. At any moment, your stupidity could make you famous, but not in a cool way.

I wonder if there's a phobia for that.

... d...vi... fear...of... interewebs...ness...y... netfameaphobia?

Sure. That works.

Comments

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CyanSandwich 2011-02-01 02:20:10

Well then, don't do anything stupid :P

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 02:20:10

But that's impossible!

MadamKistulot 2011-02-01 02:21:47

Fame is fame is fame? But there's a totally different kind of fame on the internet.

Infamy is a lot harder to grasp than "that chick in that picture". There's a guy who now is immortalized on the internet as "Cockmongler." I imagine he doesn't love that name. I wouldn't want that.

But I've enjoyed small internet fame in my own right, and it can be fun... but I wouldn't want to be a meme, I don't think.

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 02:21:47

Cockmongler is kinda cool. I mean, being theh mongler of roosters would rock.

TheFlyingChinchilla 2011-02-01 02:31:57

You're probably safe from that.

(Yes I realize that could be interpreted as backhanded.)

If it makes you feel better, I do enjoy your chafing dry wit.

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 02:31:57

No, a backhanded compliment would have been 'don't worry, your totally safe from any real fame.' or something like that.

Or maybe that'd be a front punch compliment?

LimitBreak 2011-02-01 02:38:30

Just make sure they aren't filming you, and you should be fine.

For everything else, it's cool, it's not gonna change your personal life much. I mean, we make fun of Axman13, but his IRL friends probably don't even know anything about Dot Dot Dot. He is living a regular life right now, fully aware of the fact that he's the guy who said that the only reson hes giving this a 1 is beacuase the voices where pretty good.

Worst comes to worst, change your username or something.

Also, this was a surprisingly interesting read. Just letting you know.

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 02:38:30

Thanks!

Unless you're saying i'm normally uninteresting. Then go to hell!

Also, I have no idea who Axman13 is.

tyglitchblade 2011-02-01 03:04:16

i know this is a bit off topic, but are you a REAL girl?

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 03:04:16

Seems on topic to me.

Gianni 2011-02-01 09:09:32

I too have this same concern. There really isn't too much you can do to prevent something like this happening to you, but I imagine if it does happen to you, there are measures you can take to make it right.

One option is to then become a "stupidity hunter" armed with a camera, determined to find people being more stupid than you, so you can make them internet famous and wash away the memory of your own error.

The other option is to move to a place where they don't have internet, or at least don't catch on to internet jokes. Like a foreign country nobody can ever remember the name of, or a nursing home.

Or a nursing home in a foreign country, filled with people who can't remember the name of their own country. Actually, while you're there you can do some stupidity hunting, with hopes of returning to your home country.

Shame could be the start of an amazing adventure.

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 09:09:32

Or a really weird sitcom.

JazLyte 2011-02-01 09:15:36

I'd be pretty flattered :3 Humiliation can't exist without an ego

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 09:15:36

Neither can flattery.

BroCode 2011-02-01 09:39:24

Easy.
Just go Vampire Bro! The whole no reflection thing works not just with normal mirrors but with all kinds of cameras.
If you can't be seen in the movie or the pic, you can't made be fun of.
Also as a vamp you have kind of superpowers (depending on what kind of Vampire you are) so you may punch all those people in the face with superspeed who COULD have made fun of you (if they had ever seen that vid of yours).

Leaves just one question... what did you do with the fruit?

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 09:39:24

Vampire Bro would make an excilent Tv show.

Nambread 2011-02-01 11:55:31

It's not so bad, the chances of becoming an infamous internet meme superstar are pretty slim.
Although there was this one girl in my city who thought it'd be a good idea to pull her shirt off in the middle of a club. 1 facebook group and a million hits on the pic later she's a local celeb.
Moral of the story: keep your clothes on and you should be fine.

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 11:55:31

That's harder then it sounds.

I-smel 2011-02-01 13:47:42

I like reading your blog posts. They make me feel like I'm in a car that's rolling sideways down a mountain.

Emptygoddess 2011-02-01 13:47:42

That's a good thing?

keyreal 2011-03-13 17:09:23

"I have no idea who Axman13 is."

<a href="http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/558516">http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view /558516</a>

killercood 2011-03-22 21:55:35

youre the only person i have seen with as much of an ego as me exept you dont have ULTRA COOD POWERS

Emptygoddess 2011-03-22 21:55:35

cood powers sound cool. i am sad.

Flanker7 2011-04-07 19:49:48

"Or even worse, what if you pour your heart and soul into the creation of something? Only to find out that the reason you got six billion hits is because people think it's just so stupid they have to see it?"

Have you been playing Tom Fulp's tribute to The Room again?

Emptygoddess 2011-04-07 19:49:48

Have not played it ever.