Killing babies.

The murder/rape/debasement of the very young is one of those things that some find hilarious, and others believe that if you do something like that, only the most horrible of fates awaits you.

Sometimes these people are the same people, as many find dead baby jokes funny while not finding dead babies funny at all.

Let's say a baby, small cute, with large eyes and red hair, is sitting next to the button that can destroy the world. It's trying to press it, in the stupid stupid drooly way babies do. All you have is a crossbow. Do you take the shot?! The world hangs in the balance!

If the baby is evil does that make it any easier? Maybe the baby built the doomsday device.

Also, if after killing a baby, if you save a really old persons' life does it kinda balance out? I mean sure they don't have all that potential and growth, but you kept all that experience and knowledge from being lost!

Maybe two old people equal one baby?

If the only ammunition for the crossbow you have while trying to stop the evil baby, is another baby, could you still take the shot?

The real question is where did you even get a modified crossbow that can fire live babies as ammunition. That's a bit strange.

These are the kind of deep philosophical questions that have no real answer. Yet we must always attempt to seek truth.

Comments

Log in to Comment

TheFlyingChinchilla 2010-11-30 14:13:30

Most answers seem pretty clear... baby begone.

I wouldn't say any of these are as screwy as those who defend the rights of the unborn in obstruction of the rights of the living.

Emptygoddess 2010-11-30 14:13:30

Seriously, the unborn are creepy. Those are the demon things that suck souls and hop around and bring about the end of time, right?

LiderBoss 2010-11-30 14:45:20

It doesn't matter who is going to push the "world destruction" button, if someone is about to push it, you should stop him/her in anyway you can since if he/she pushes the button, he/she dies anyway...

I believe if you have to choose between and old person or a young person, the old person should die simply because he had a chance to live his/her life and the younger person didn't.

Emptygoddess 2010-11-30 14:45:20

I dunno. The baby is super ugly.

DemiseAnimation 2010-11-30 16:38:20

If a baby was next to a doomsday button I would crossbow it and stamp on its head

Emptygoddess 2010-11-30 16:38:20

The head stamp seems unecisairy.

Gianni 2010-11-30 18:16:51

A crossbow that uses live babies as ammunition sounds like something only an evil baby could construct. Better take the shot.

Evil babies are twice as dangerous as evil old people, because the babies can deceive so easily. However, good babies aren't nearly as useful as good old people, because good babies aren't going to do much except cost their owner money.

So really I'd just say that all babies are evil, take the shot.

Emptygoddess 2010-11-30 18:16:51

Always take the shot!

TheFlyingChinchilla 2010-11-30 18:56:59

Well, you were correct about the part where they suck out your soul...

Emptygoddess 2010-11-30 18:56:59

I'm correct about all parts.

KhawnerL 2010-11-30 20:28:26

release the hounds..

Emptygoddess 2010-11-30 20:28:26

And damn the hens!

Gemparty 2010-11-30 21:02:49

...
I want that crossbow.
That would be AWESOME! :D

Emptygoddess 2010-11-30 21:02:49

Yes it would.

LyleRath 2010-12-17 04:22:20

This is a philosophical question that really hinges on the balance of two variables.

1. Do you like babies?
and
2. What do you want to accomplish?

I've never cared for babies myself. Disgusting little disproportionate pig like creatures, usually caked in some horrible bodily excrement; incapable of doing anything of value or even keeping themselves alive and yet somehow equipped with lungs strong enough to make obnoxiously high pitched noises disturbingly loud.

So basically in short, I just made a nice bit of money in baby crossbow crossbow sales (they're patented under the name babow BTW,) and I don't have much huggy love for poop filled noise machines that might prevent me from taking the shot.

As for the second variable, not shooting the baby and then getting blown up is out of the question for me. Now here's the tough part. I can shoot the baby with the other baby and stop the world from getting destroyed, but then that's only 2 babies dead, and there's a much more efficient use of ammo if baby killing is the goal. The most logical course of baby killing action would be to fire my babow at the button. That way, I kill like, infinity babies, and I actually get the credit for it. I could spend my whole life killing babies, and I still would never reach that number, but at least then I could say I had a murderous life to spend.

This is why I'm glad that my firefox search bar's random order of importance when I type in "newg" won't let me forget about your posts. They really make an individual evaluate the more meaningful things in life.

Emptygoddess 2010-12-17 04:22:20

The main problem is you wouldn't really be able to take credit for anything. You'd be gone as would all thiings.

Some would say time itself would have stopped. Existance would be gone.

But yes, babies would no longer be, and maybe it's a cold dark world worth having.

spacecowboy86 2011-01-03 00:35:52

Depends on whose baby it is, if they are nearby or still alive, and what the baby will grow up to be. If it will grow up to be an evil scientist or a drunk, I'm taking the shot. If it will grow up to become a president of the world, end all forms of death, and colonize mars, I'll just shoot it in the leg. The thing you really have to remember is that babies have futures, in fact they have more of a future than any of us, because they haven't wasted any of it eating potato chips and watching TV. Unless of course one of us is the e-trade baby... creepy thought.

Emptygoddess 2011-01-03 00:35:52

I can't tell the future myself. But as soon as i can, i'll use it to decide what babies i kill.

Killing babies.

Comments

Log in to Comment

Main Sections

Extra, Extra!

Community

NG Related