Sometimes I wish I was a building.
I'd probably be a warehouse owned by some old guy, named Fredrick Connors. But all the kids in the area call him old man conners. He'd probably have a fishing company or something and want to run all the other fishing companies out of business. So he'd set up like projectors to make some cool ghost ship appear on the water and get a neat rubber pirate suit and scare everyone else away from the docks.
For a few glorious weeks while Old Man conners was scaring the hell out of fishermen I would be the most glorious warehouse ever!
Or haunted, I could totally do haunted.
Bleeding walls, whispering to people in their sleep, making people think they're seeing things that aren't real, unplugging the microwave to s crew up the little LSD screen. I don't think I could go through with it though, the whole killing or maiming someone. I'm more of a PG13 haunted house, couldn't do R.
Actually I might only be a PG haunted house. I'd have a cool cat familiar that's only got one eye and sits outside and stairs as people enter or leave. I would name him Floffle, but no one would know because houses can't talk. Maybe if I did the dream whisper thing loud enough hey could learn floffle's name?
Things to consider if I'm ever going to become a house.
SpamClamberton
I'd be a house from a psychological thriller. A dirty old shack with no lights or plumbing, and photos of missing people all over the walls. It'd be really interesting to see my how my occupant behaves when he's by himself, until he inevitably burns me down, that is.
Emptygoddess
The inevitable burn down is something all houses must face.