Soda: Better Fresh? Or better Flat?

Some day, i wish to be taller then i am today.

Jilliums Hilliums @Emptygoddess

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Soda: Better Fresh? Or better Flat?

Posted by Emptygoddess - April 21st, 2010

Many people do crazy things when it comes to carbonated beverages. People get addicted, and drink so much they lose the ability to move because of chemical reactions and stuff. People talk about where in the country the best coca cola is, as if the flavor is different depending on where you go (I'm sorry, I can't taste it, you're all crazy). People will get into heated debates over the best soft drinks, people will refuse to go to restaurants that don't have their favorite diet whatever plus. People do insane things with soda.

I knew a guy who would shoot carbonated soda up his ass because he liked the fizz.

He was a freak.

I don't talk to him anymore.

People also, love the carination, the bubbles, that burn your tongue and hurt your mouth. Tinfoil, freezing, getting it straight from the tap. they fight and struggle to keep in those tiny bubbles. I have been threatened with death for leaving the cap off a 2 liter bottle.

But I have a secret, I left that lid off intentionally.

I want the soda flat. I want to be able to drink it's smooth flavor without being assaulted constantly by tiny bubbles that feel like their jabbing my tongue with spears. I want to let the taste simmer on my pallet, not simmer in my mouth like bacon on a skillet!

It's not so odd! It's a valid desire? Why in so many circles am I treated like a leaper?

"want a soda?"

"pop the top and leave it on the counter, I'll have it in awhile."

"it'll go flat."

"Yeah I know. I like it that way."

"You get the fuck out."

"Wait but-"

"Get the fuck out or I will cut you, bitch."

People need to relax. There are so many better things to cut a bitch over. Lost whore wages, voting incorrectly in the last presidential election, talking smack. Really it's not a big deal.

I like my women tall, my men husky, and my soda flat.

And I am proud of this!

mostly I want doctor pepper. Flat Doctor pepper is delicious. He clearly got his doctorate in FLAVOR.

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SpamClamberton 2010-04-21 05:30:55

THIS GIRL KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. I agree with everything written here. Except I like my men gaunt and my women
And wow, Americans talk about where the coca cola comes from? Holy shit. Your country is so fucking processed it's not funny. You're getting ripped off with chocolate too. And a lot of other things. Hell, if I ever have to move to America for work I'm bringing all my own food.

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 05:30:55

Depends on the American.

imgonnakillyou 2010-04-21 05:55:26

how about hot soda

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 05:55:26

Warm. Not a big fan of hot.

Dogface1444 2010-04-21 06:38:12

I agree I dont like fizzy soda some brands take it over the top so you take a sip and nearly spit it out befor its forced down ur throat ha i usaly take a sip let it sit in my mouth for a second then drink it if i dont it just burns. Unless its some budget shit in that case id rather the burning. I LIKE MY WOMEN BRUNET AND MY MEN AS FRIENDS. haha

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 06:38:12

I enjoy my statements in capitals as well. They're just so much LOUDER.

SpamClamberton 2010-04-21 06:46:19

whoops, forgot to finish typing how I like my women. Um. Shorter than me. Not super short, but I'd consider my own height the limit. And shapely.

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 06:46:19

Thanks. Without knowing that my day would have felt empty and hollow.

matt-likes-swords 2010-04-21 08:40:22

If it's flat you can taste all the toxic chemicals better!

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 08:40:22

Exactly!

Gianni 2010-04-21 10:32:36

Personally I prefer carbonated but it's definitely a valid desire. The bubbles do subtract from the true taste of the soda.

Perhaps Dr Pepper is only trying to pass himself off as a doctor so he can cut bitches with a good excuse.

Maybe, deep down inside, all soda drinkers just want to cut bitches, and this Dr Pepper has got it all figured out.

What if Dr Pepper were actually a woman, and nobody realized it all along?

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 10:32:36

A woman doctor? Don't be absurd.

Blow-me-please 2010-04-21 13:58:45

To hell with bubbles! I wanna drink that shit without constantly being interrupted with time-consuming burps. Also it pisses my family off when i leave the cap off, so that's a plus.

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 13:58:45

Not sure why pissing people off is a plus. Unless you're a jerk.

I'm going to assume you are.

Have fun with that.

icantthinkofanynames 2010-04-21 15:24:15

and I thought I was alone... I still am, but fuck at least I'm not the only one. I just blamed drinking juice only for the longest time as my reason for feeling pain when that damn soda hits my throat, because it wasn't always like that... Sucks that no one likes you for it though, but I'm sure you'll live long enough for it to go flat.

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 15:24:15

I thought that as well. Then I died this morning.

Sucks huh?

oooOOOooo i'm hauuuunting neeeewgroooounds... OOooOOOooo

Kajenx 2010-04-21 18:30:16

I like pop from a dispenser like at restaurants. That's about the only time I'll drink it though. And recently they found that there's deadly pink mold growing in those machines so I'm thinking I won't be drinking from them anymore...

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 18:30:16

Mmmm... deadly pink mold. Most mold sucks, pink mold sounds adorable.

AnonymousAwsomeness 2010-04-21 19:30:59

I was drinking Dr. Pepper as I read this.

Coincidence?

I THINK NOT!!!

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 19:30:59

Dangerous times my friend.

dieperson 2010-04-21 19:39:12

People drink soda less for the flavor than for the carbonation itself. The first time I had a can of Coca Cola my immediate reaction was to grimace at the surge of pain that found itself in my mouth. My second reaction was to wonder how anyone could possibly like this.

I later developed a tolerance to the feeling of carbonation and I now understand why people like it that way: carbonation is unique, it's not something you find in regular food, but the feeling of a thousand little bubbles in one's mouth is something that regular food can't provide.

I have had soda flat and it is both smooth and delicious, but it fails to set itself apart from other sugary drinks. This does not mean it is something worth hurting someone over, but people can be quite stupid sometimes, perhaps it is in our nature.

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 19:39:12

I'm so gunna cut you.

JonBro 2010-04-21 20:09:24

When a soda is still fizzy, it's like drinking 80% air. You don't get the real taste of the drink unless it's flat. >:(

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 20:09:24

You know. I think i'll cut you as well.

thantounderscore 2010-04-21 20:44:25

Did you know that some people drink carbonated WATER? They call it "tonic" or something.

I suppose that's OK if you put gin in it.

Emptygoddess 2010-04-21 20:44:25

That's like putting a gun in your mouth! If guns were carbonated.

TiechoNortheal 2010-04-22 16:53:04

Your friend, the one you referred to as a freak, who liked the feel of carbonation in in ass, is the reason you don't talk to him anymore because of his odd preference of anal filler? Or is it for a completely separate reason?

If so the former, then you, ma'am, are also a freak in that your preferred use of soft drink deviates from the norm. If that later, under what circumstances did your falling out with this person occur? Surely something involving a person caviler enough to enjoy soda in his ass HAS to be interesting. SHARE!

Emptygoddess 2010-04-22 16:53:04

You'd think so. But it's just not true.

creaphoenix 2010-04-24 20:59:51

i prefer fresh, but i still like flat. frankly flat soda is sweeter but fresh soda is more enjoyable for me... dont know why

Emptygoddess 2010-04-24 20:59:51

Probably the way your tongue sizzles in excitement.

OnyxPhyre 2010-04-27 10:07:15

I'll drink it flat or with the fizz, either way I don't really care. It tastes delicious all the same to me.
Yeah, I'm wierd. 'Course I drink tea more than I do soda, so I really don't have room to talk here XP.
Uhh, I like my women female and my men male.

Emptygoddess 2010-04-27 10:07:15

That seems rather picky and stingy.

IceBolt4 2010-05-05 02:01:14

Fresh soda burns my throat and feels like it's eating away at my teeth.
Flat soda tastes weird.

I remember why I don't drink soda anymore.

Emptygoddess 2010-05-05 02:01:14

I'm glad the memory has come back to you. Why it left we can only hazard to guess.

Soda: Better Fresh? Or better Flat?

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