I don't want to travel back in time to a 'more nobel era'

People will often talk about better times. About more honest times. Or more epic times. They'll pontificate about the past, about knights and samurai. About Napoleonic wars and cool badass fights and codes of honor. The wild west and what not.

Not me. I like the time period I live in. There are lots of reasons. I mean the internet is great. Access to infinite amounts of stolen goods, fan fics, erotica, humorous videos about cats, humorous videos about how people only watch videos about cats, that one youtube clip of the guy kicking the baby to SF2 sound effects... I like fast food. Plastic. I enjoy video games. Comic books. Not dying of tuberculosis or small pox.

There are lots of reasons I don't want to go back to a simpler time. But the most important would be... toilet paper.

You wanna go on the crusades? Fine by me. But keep in mind, no TP.

China seemed to sorta get the idea around 1300 AD, but elsewhere? Well let's just take a look at the Wikipedia list...

Rich people: Wool, Lace, hemp.

Not so rich people: rags, wood shavings, leaves, grass, hay, stone, sand, moss, water, snow, maize, ferns, may apple plant husks, fruit skins, or seashells, and corn cobs.

In Rome, according to Wikipedia - "a sponge on a stick was commonly used, and, after usage, placed back in a bucket of saltwater."

That is horrifying. HORRIFYING.

So, yes, indoor plumbing is awesome. But the thing I would miss most were I sent hurtling through time, would be toilet paper.

Also, it's nice cause it doubles as tissues, paper towels, and a handy device to piss off you city mates with by covering their trees in it.

The stuff is magical.

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Skeik 2010-03-07 20:45:55

Corn Cobs honestly don't sound half bad, provided I could keep hundreds of them.

Emptygoddess 2010-03-07 20:45:55

I don't like corn. It disturbs me.

Colticide 2010-03-07 21:20:56

Holy crap (no pun intended) I never thought about that. Now that I think about it life would suck have a smelly rashed bum.

Emptygoddess 2010-03-07 21:20:56

Why not? That pun seemed fine.

Josh-B 2010-03-08 01:30:23

By a more nobel era, I'm assuming to an era where you could meet Alfred Nobel.

Emptygoddess 2010-03-08 01:30:23

And kill him!

Spirradical 2010-03-08 01:52:42

If you went back in time you could make your own toilet paper and be a genius

Emptygoddess 2010-03-08 01:52:42

Yessss... the perect plan.

bikkethepirate 2010-03-08 02:13:17

where do people get the idea that there was more good and less evil in the past.

i think that when they were young, people were too young and innocent to notice evil around them, and then when they get old enough to reconize the bad, they think back to a time when it wasnt so apparent.

in actuality, the past is just as evil, if not, more evil than the present.

Emptygoddess 2010-03-08 02:13:17

I dunno about evil. Evil is a strong word. How about craptastic?

OdHero 2010-03-08 06:43:10

Sure China had TP, but at the expense they never discovered glass! Probably had to comfortable butts to play with sand.

Yeah I prefer it in this time, although wouldn't mind going to the 1950's, woud be quite fun, especially knowing the cold war would not harm you as a typical citizen :) In olden times of england, people were so stubborn they wouldn't use pillows for years, saying they were not masculine :P

Emptygoddess 2010-03-08 06:43:10

They're not.

Sairex 2010-03-08 12:49:42

Bring back the seventies, yo!

Emptygoddess 2010-03-08 12:49:42

I'd rather die!

Katelyn135 2010-03-08 22:57:42

This is why I have a stock pile of toilet paper that I sent back in the past waiting for me to get there. Or...not waiting for me...since I would have already been there...

Emptygoddess 2010-03-08 22:57:42

so waiting for you to have been about to ready to use it when it was to have arived.

JammerJaw 2010-03-10 01:22:50

It's because of those "craptastic" times that we're able to live the lives we're living right now, so I completely and utterly agree. Expect to play me in Brawl soon.

Emptygoddess 2010-03-10 01:22:50

I don't currently have a TV. So this is unlikely.

Gianni 2010-03-10 01:50:43

I agree with you on this one. I think the only truly good thing about "back then" was that there wasn't really an overpopulation issue as much perhaps, and that could also be incorrect as I am not by any means a historian.

This may have been due to the tuberculosis, small pox, and sponge on a stick gone awry though.

I firmly believe that we don't need to time travel for codes of nobility, and we can attempt to uphold them in the modern day.

Emptygoddess 2010-03-10 01:50:43

If anything is going to go tragicly wrong, it's sponge on a stick.

SuperGenX 2010-03-16 16:41:09

Do you know what I would miss? SONOFABITCHASPIDER! If I could bring something back, it would be a...CRAP load of rocket launchers to protect myself. Nothing puts the fear of God in a man like orange wizzin' past his head.

Emptygoddess 2010-03-16 16:41:09

Six would probably be enough.