I have come to the conclusion that I am not a main character.

Some day, i wish to be taller then i am today.

Jilliums Hilliums @Emptygoddess

Age 38, Female

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I have come to the conclusion that I am not a main character.

Posted by Emptygoddess - September 3rd, 2011

Like most of you I have spent my life watching, playing, creating, and being pissed off by stupid and poorly done fiction. Now, while i have yet to see any real solid proof we are not in some giant alien reality show, or bit players in someone's action adventure that has a surprisingly detailed amount of fluff, I can say for damn certain I'm not a main character.

I don't dress cool enough. People don't forgive me for being a sociopathic asshole enough. I don't randomly treat my friends like crap only to learn moral lessons, and even when I'm being boring exciting things don't just happen at me. Except the normal exiting things, like almost dieing in a car accident, or finding out your uncle has cancer, or someone trying to kill you in the bathroom because you were 'mad doggin them all night'.

I still don't know what Mad doggin' is, but I actively attempt to not do it, because I enjoy my neck to remain unbroken and my body un-stabbed, and those who think I have been mad doggin' them feel differently. All I have gleaned so far, is I do not think it involves being angery, or being a dog. I am neither yet still managed to accomplish it.

While this attempted murder was interesting, my point is that it wasn't a story that lead to a chain of adventurous events where all seems lost right before the end and yet comes together in an epic moment of glory! (or failure if the story is sad!) Instead it was just terrifying for like a minute. I believe i wet myself. It would have made a horrible movie, an atrocious short, and a truly despicable TV show and as a book or comic? Pfffft.

I guess I might be a main character of one of those really boring crappy slice of life things. where stuff happens and it's all edgy and real.

I sure hope not, those things suck. It would explain some stuff though...

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Boss 2011-09-03 15:37:18

hey man well look up mad doggin and figure out what it is so you dont look at dudes the wrong way again

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 15:37:18

Is that what it means? I had been assuming it had something to do with like... i dunno... dogs?

PIED3 2011-09-03 15:42:43

You write good things, but it's sociopathic not "sosiopathic".

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 15:42:43 (Updated 2011-09-03 15:58:35)

If you knew what word i meant, and thus communication was initiated effectively, does it truly matter?

Eh. I'll fix it.

poisened-noise 2011-09-03 15:50:40

you will always be the main character in my fantasies babes. <3

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 15:50:40

A strange thing to say considering I hope at least, you have no idea who what or how i am.

If you do... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Thundaboom 2011-09-03 17:05:04

Your news posts are always depressing! :D

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 17:05:04

:DDD!

Komix 2011-09-03 17:06:36

or maybe you are a main character but your story hasn't begun yet! do you ever wonder what main characters did before their story began? they probably live boring lives like anyone else! Maybe your amazing Romance with vampires, or wizards is just about to begin, or maybe you are about to find out that you ve been a secret agent that entire time!

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 17:06:36

If i had to pick a mythical creature to have a romance with, it would certainty not be a vampire.

Valerofond 2011-09-03 19:06:06

Let me check my magic google

Mad Doggin'

To stare down someone in an aggressive manner in the hopes of
starting a fight.

'Yo that fool was mad doggin' me but I straight showed him piece and he bounced out'

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 19:06:06

If only i'd had a piece, i coulda made em bounce.

DieterTheuns 2011-09-03 19:30:07

I love this read. It convinced me I'm not in a show either. I know not a single comic relief character. My neighbours are boring.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 19:30:07

If you kill them you might become part of a made for TV movie about a crazy killer.

Not a great idea though.

Steinberg 2011-09-03 20:41:23

You know that shows where the main character is a big nerd loser, with no social skills or hopes, and everything goes wrong for him?
I'm that kind of protagonist.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 20:41:23

No, i don't know that show.

Steinberg 2011-09-03 20:52:54

Ohhhh, also, this remembers me of when I was staring out the bus window one of these days, my mind was traveling through wonderland when apparently (when the bus stopped at a station) a guy standing outside was shouting at me... When I went back to the real world I noticed he was shouting "*insult* *insult* Why are you staring at me?!" So he tried to come into the back door and throw his cigarette on me... The door was closing and the bus started to move, so he could only fit his arm. Thank god because I'm so frail.
I guess I can't even look outside the window anymore without almost dying. Fuck people.
Also, your sense of humor is the best!!!

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 20:52:54

I hope he got his arm back.

TheFlyingChinchilla 2011-09-03 21:35:20

If I DO meet the main character, I would like to murder him in the face. Surely he is indirectly responsible for every dick move this world pulls on us.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 21:35:20

He would somehow survive it, being the main charicter.

Gianni 2011-09-03 22:01:16

I dunno, don't rule yourself out. Main characters do have a tendency to only ALMOST die, so there's one qualification you now have under your belt.

Maybe your story is trying to go in a more "original" direction.

Pfft. Whatever original. Needs more explosions.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 22:01:16

Original means booooooring. waaaaaah!

FrozenFire 2011-09-03 22:39:01

You are a main character your episodes are just a lot shorter and your ratings are pretty low.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-03 22:39:01

Yeah. only god and santa clause watch me. Pervs.

grieverbravin 2011-09-04 03:54:13

well, rather than a main character, maybe you're just one of the random plucky characters you see for only 5 minutes in the entire thing and help sum everything that has happen thus far to the audience because EVERY gorram thing about the movie/episode/comic was so damned confusing, they needed 5 minutes to reel the audience back into it. that, or mayb you're just the hunk of cheese on a random counter.... I feel like both everyday.....

Emptygoddess 2011-09-04 03:54:13

It's more annoying when it happens and the plot was super easy to follow. Making that sum up person useless and evil.

thantounderscore 2011-09-04 05:05:05

If you want an exciting life, maybe even feel like a hero, try animal rescue. It's hard work, and you'll need a strong stomach and will, but there's nothing like saving cute furry animals who can't fend for themselves.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-04 05:05:05

I would rather DIE.

Kembry 2011-09-04 07:37:30

AH ?

IF YOU SAY SO.

Stop ctisising yourself and start to live, don`t care about what people say abotu you because most of all those things are just made in your mind, because if you are so bad than people wouldn`t talk about you. Just chill out and find things what you enjoy and ike and enjoy yourself and your body and everything around you. Body is our greatest instrument. DO SOMETHING. BUY SOME WEED AND HANG AROUND !

Emptygoddess 2011-09-04 07:37:30

The body is indeed like an instrument, in that it makes a lot of weird noises.

Kembry 2011-09-04 07:38:05

AH ?

IF YOU SAY SO.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-04 07:38:05

.sesion driew fo tol a sekam ti taht ni ,tnemurtsni na ekil deedni si ydob ehT

Unsterblicher 2011-09-04 08:59:32

You're certainly a protagonist, not a supporting character, friend. The thing is, you are also a co-author of your own story, so effectively YOU decide how interesting or boring it is.

If you feel that your life is 'boring' and 'crappy' (I can understand how that feels, I've been there), change something about it. Do something exhilarating, something exciting and rewarding for you. Go mountain-biking, get a motorcycle, try your hand at sky-diving; take a road trip to somewhere you've never been before, usw.

And cheer up, dear. Life is long, assuming you don't meet a violent end, which is highly unlikely in civilised parts of the world, but it is also too short for you to be filled with regret over what you didn't do. I wouldn't recommend drugs, though. That tends to offer no real reward, as I can tell you from personal experience.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-04 08:59:32

My life's awesome. And i'm not depressed. I just mean when i go mountain biking terrorists don't capture me and the other people biking for ransom, eventually ending with me and the terrorist leader in a kung fu battle on top of hedge rock. A rock shaped like a skull at the top of the mountain.

More an observation then a complaint.

Thundaboom 2011-09-04 13:06:02

LIsten bitch stop complaining and chock on Tom fulp's dick.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-04 13:06:02

Thank you for the advice thundaboom. My life starts today.

I-smel 2011-09-04 13:29:48

Yea I decided this for myself a while ago. I am an extra in somebody elses movie.

If you had to pick a mythical creature to have a romance with, what WOULD IT BE??
A GRYPHON?

Emptygoddess 2011-09-04 13:29:48

Chimera probably. Lots of options.

Kajenx 2011-09-04 13:34:50

This was an interesting rant.

It sounds like your life is full of things and you actually do make a good main character. They're usually trying to escape from whatever situation they're in, after all.

Emptygoddess 2011-09-04 13:34:50

Their situation sucks! They have no choice. INCITING INCIDENT!

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