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Some day, i wish to be taller then i am today.

Jilliums Hilliums @Emptygoddess

Age 38, Female

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I like apples.

Posted by Emptygoddess - January 4th, 2011


But apples do not like me.

One killed my mother.

Killed her just to send me a message.


Comments

why does this have no reviews?

It does now.

I once fucked an apple.. ahh last Monday <3

As the apple can't give consent, i'm pretty sure it was rape.

Was your mother Sir Isaac Newton?

Wouldn't that be amazing?

What a horrible story of unrequited love. :(

Also a fish out of water tale.

You can't trust those fucking apples, cuz they don't fall far from the tree. Oranges though...

They're oranger, that's for sure.

I'm feeling with you man, I like apples too but they hurt me when I try to express my appreciation to them...
...
On the other hand biting through ones soft skin, eating his flesh and leaving nothing but the core, the seemen and the harder flesh around it may be not the best way to show affection.

Anyway, my forespeaker's right, the never fall far from the tree, so they're all characterless bastards anyway!

DEATH to all apples!!!

*fist in the air*

AHA! a comrade in arms against the fruits of malus

my acts of fructal vigilanteism were found out, they eventually found me
now i have no friends, no family
they are gone now

all i have is vengeance- and those fruity bastards shall pay, and pay dearly
litres of juice i shall wade through until i find the one responsible
and on that most glourious of days, i shall take my time

and i hope he has seedlings, so he shall feel the pain of loss

it is truly a shame, though that the doctors choose to ally themselves with the fruit

they caught me once, locked me up
but i got out, you see

now a few apples a day keep them away
shot out of cannons, even a thing as despicable as an apple can harm them

my day of vengeance is drawing ever closer
but until it does, rivers of juice shall flow

rivers of juice shall flow.

Very graphic.

Obi Wan never told you what happened to your mother.

APPLES ARE YOUR MOTHER!!!

That would explain much.

I need to have a button that lets me subscribe to your news posts. Also one that lets me rate them 5/5. I only need the 5/5 button, because the other four ratings won't ever be needed.

I'm sorry to hear about this tale, but perhaps there are generations of history that cause this dispute between your bloodline and apples. You might need to go find an ancient tome, fulfill a prophecy, and at long last end this war.

Or you know, like oranges instead. That pisses them off pretty well.

I don't think morally it's allowed to rate a post about apples 5/5.