How to Kill a Dragon

How to kill a dragon? How to slay a mighty beast...
Does one bring armies, with guns and knives
who on his corpse they can feast?
Mortar shells and tanks,
rows of men smiling proud.
An invincible array of soldiers,
to cast the creature's death shroud.

But there is no honor in that.
The romance is gone,
the monster slain by numbers and math
and heroism exists only in song.
No, to slay a dragon, one must go alone,
one must march into the darkened cave
one must face the hell of teeth.
The Fire breath and crushing claws,
on its hands and on its feet.

A dragon must be faced by one,
a single person song unsung
if they perish in the lair
the tale will be but air
But to walk into the cave with sword held high
And to walk out of the cave holding the beast's bloody eye...

That is to walk from the cave a man.

Or a woman, or a small child or like an anthropomorphic cat that likes to wear shoes, or a brave toaster, or some kinda half dragon out to slay the evil of your kind, or whatever it was that went in there to fight a dragon.

The point is you gotta fight one alone, or at least make sure the story involves you claiming you were alone. Pay off anyone who helped or kill em later or whatever to shut them up.

Way more impressive. Major bragging rights.

Like, they'll call you dragon slayer: The slayer of dragons.

You'd be so cool.

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Starogre 2010-09-25 02:20:57

Trogdor!

Trogdor was a man

I mean, he was a dragon man

Or maybe he was just a dragon

But he was still Trogdor!

Trogdor!

Burninating the countryside,

Burninating the peasants

Burninating all the peoples

And their thatched-roof cottages!
Thatched-roof cottages!

Whoa, this has wicked dueling guitar solos

It's like squeedly versus meedley over here

Go squeedly!

Go squeedly!!

Squeedly wins!!!

When all the land is in ruins

And burnination has forsaken the countryside

Only one guy will remain

My money's on

Trogdor!

And the Trogdor comes in the night . . .

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 02:20:57

I think Trogdor is more a tauric creature then a dragon.

TiechoNortheal 2010-09-25 02:23:46

What if you bring an army that manages to kill the dragon, and you're the only survivor? And like, you were really only there to hold the shield of one of the really bad ass guys? Still have you claim to bragging rights?

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 02:23:46

As long as no one finds out you didn't do it alone you can have all the bragging rights you want.

Walryus 2010-09-25 02:54:51

Is it cowardly to wish for the chance where I can prove my bravery? Alternatively is it better not to look, but always remain ready should the need arise? Anyways great post thanks for sharing!

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 02:54:51

Hoping for a moment of bravery is hoping for danger. Maybe not cowardly, but i'd say it is ill advised.

As for not looking... i'm not sure what you mean, but i think looking is better then not looking, and being ready is good!

SpamClamberton 2010-09-25 04:02:04

Ugh. Come back when you have a sense of rythym.

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 04:02:04

No.

Grombie 2010-09-25 04:39:44

Now closed in asylum
I heard I was hiding from reality
Idea of future seems to lose its way
I am destroyer of equal opportunity
Only active life was in my imagination
The people never existed
Lime light was a light in the basement
And the crowd was a ragdoll named Charlie

As we were found
I was dancing before my parents bodies
Music playing loud and I laughed
Because I was free from their judging eyes
...just me and Charlie

Shot down

Police came weeks after I killed them
They took pictures of the murals on the wall
After a while they found out
The hideout of my mother's insides

Shot down

I ate my father's skin
While he was still alive
I always thought he was tough..well, he was
I had to pound him a bit with my shovel
...just me and Charlie

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 04:39:44

When you have the gall to kill your own parents, i think it's time to give up the ragdoll.

vampyro241 2010-09-25 04:46:09

Anthropomorphic cat that likes to wear shoes? Brave toaster? You ran out of ideas didn't you? XD

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 04:46:09

Brave toasters are powerful foes. they could take a dragon.

Starogre 2010-09-25 04:49:56

^ brave little toaster......

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD XD XDX XD XDXDXDDDXDXDXD

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 04:49:56

He was my hero for a long time.

eDaRk 2010-09-25 06:38:27

omtish

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 06:38:27

Omlette

JammerJaw 2010-09-25 19:52:27

All I'd need is my trusty PSI and teddy bear.

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 19:52:27

And some kind of rocketlauncher!

AnonymousAwsomeness 2010-09-25 20:58:51

*hugs*

Emptygoddess 2010-09-25 20:58:51

don't touch me! Nothing gives you that right!

Flanker7 2010-09-26 02:16:18

I think someone has been watching too much Escaflowne(series).

Anyway, where are you supposed to get a sentient toaster from? It's not like you can go down to Crazy Eddy's and buy one.

Emptygoddess 2010-09-26 02:16:18

I've actualy never seen Escaflowne... series. Are sentient toasters common in it?

Draxiss 2010-09-26 20:21:48

Very nice poem, funny you mention half-dragon haha

Emptygoddess 2010-09-26 20:21:48

Gotta kill your own half kind. it's required.

BlackMorningStudios 2010-09-28 20:51:05

Good poem, even though you ended off key. Anyways, how have you been lately?Hopefully better than being, "like a Thompson gunned by a headless man."

Emptygoddess 2010-09-28 20:51:05

Nothing is better than that.