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I don't know about you, but I bothered to take a look at what apparently people who liked my flash animations also liked. I was horrifically disturbed. Apparently people have been watching my flash animations, and then been clicking things like 'zombie eats dog poo and then they do it... in the dog poo' or worse, watching that and then watching my animations.

I'm not saying all the connections are to horrible things. Heck I gotta say, that zombie dog poo one, that has some promise. Definitely funnier then anything I've made. I just don't see why enough people have watched them and other such things together, to tell a website there's a connection. it's like watching... Violent mayhem 3. And then clicking one of the 'users who liked this also like...' and the thing you click turns out to be like, pottery adventure time

Pottery is awesome. Brilliant even. I mean who doesn't love pottery more then the great wall of china (Which most don't know, is actually made OUT of pottery) but it's not what i want to see right after i watch violent mayhem. At least personally. After some violent mayhem i want to watch like... some more violent mayhem. Isn't that the whole point of violence? that it makes you want more of it? Otherwise what the ziggurat are all the parents complaining about?

I guess it means people who end up watching my animations have varied tastes. Extremely... extremely.... varied tastes........

I'm just saying I'm watching you. If you go and watch my animation, and then like watch some kind of weird porn thing that involves animated girls who can fly. I will be very disappointed in you. VERY. Disappointed.

watch it on your own as much as you want, heck put it on repeat and make a night of it.

(I'd link you to what some of them are, but seriously. Ew.)



I have. I have made a response on every comment I have ever gotten.

I don't even know why. Every comment and review, on every flash movie and every post article thing. I have responded to them all. Some of the responses do not even make sense. At least one of them mentions the cold war. I think I told a few people I hated them.

Perhaps it was part of a grander scheme. Mostly I just think it was........ uh... well it was. It certainly certainly was.

I guess it is a testament to the inane nature of humanity. By humanity I mean me. The inane nature of me. One day I'll be relevant... one day.

*stares off into the sunset and watches the grass turn a golden brown*

...one day.

And on that day I will use my great power to crush those that laughed at my weakness. Crush them like a bowl of grapes under a very collapsing mountain. Gooey, and delicious.

As it is three thirty in the morning, i think i'll go and dream about the future, and travel into tomarrow.



Well, I promised another interview at this point in time. But I'm at work, and lazy. So instead, here's a story from my place of business! ENJOY! (or not. I don't control you.)

******

The place I work being a place of business often has meetings. This is understandable as how else do the people in the company meet, and talk about what they're going to do to the other people in the company? Oh meetings can be boring, meetings can be pointless, but when you really get down to it, without meetings, we'd all just be working all the time. That isn't really much better is it?

Now the place I work is also a place of food, and it has a wonderful cafeteria that produces an amazing array of delicious delectable dishes. Some of them are even good for you. The most delicious ones are not. Because of this many of these meetings are held around the lunch time.

The food is often displayed bright and proudly on tables sitting out in front of the meeting room. Probably in hopes of keeping the meeting room clean, or enticing those that were thinking of pretending they didn't get the meeting notice to come in anyways.

There is a sick, twisted, undercurrent that flows through the halls of the place I work. A shady subculture that has formed. 'Meeting vultures'. They stalk the halls around lunchtime, looking for meetings to steal food as they pass by. Sometimes a chip here, a piece of cheese there... but other times...

I witnessed something the other day, dastardly and somehow almost beautiful in its brazenness. I was walking by a table with several boxes of the delicious pizza they make here. There must have been five pizza boxes splayed out, and a man was standing in front of them, piling slices upon his plate. Slice after slice. He had to have put at least ten on it. Well more then half of a single pizza. Admittedly, I had been hoping that the pizza would be unguarded, and the meeting long over. Pizza is delicious; I make no apologies for my desires. I assumed though this man was gathering up slices for his fellow workers inside, and I was out of luck.

Another, older man walked up, curious. He had the air of respect and dignity I often associate with anyone more important than me. (This is most people) "Are you in this meeting?" He asked the pizza guzzler.

"No. No I am not." Answered the pizza guzzler, continuing to pile pizza upon his plate. Some ware around twelve slices now. He did not flinch, he did not hesitate. He worked with the dedication and speed you expect from an employee at my place of business (it's a great place. very fast).

"That food is only for people who are in the meeting." The older gentleman said, seeming a bit put off by this man's focused determination. I will admit, there was something cold, something wrong, about the pizza guzzler's eyes. It was like something inside him was dead, or broken.

"That meeting has been over for awhile." He put his 13th and 14th slice on top of his plate while he talked. Looking over at us with his cold piercing eyes, as if daring us to disagree. I sure wasn't going to say anything.

"Oh?" And the older gentlemen, and myself (As I was curious), looked into this meeting room we were outside, only to see that not only was it still going, but it looked like none of them had yet to even get any pizza, but when we turned back, this pizza vulture was gone, along with what looked like a good four slices of pizza from each pie.

How he was able to move so quickly and quietly with so much in his hands I do not know. The meeting room was in the middle of the hall, any blind corners were a good 25 feet away.

Beware the food vultures, they are like ninja, and will use cunning, tactics, and subterfuge to get what they wish.



Good day mortals.

I have for the last few months been trying to collect interesting interviews with random newground goers. Not the standard ones, ware you get to hear the current most popular artist talk about why he is so great and how they manage to get so popular.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I thought it would be fun to instead to take a look at the people involved in the newgrounds community you normally don't hear from. The person who has submitted the most blammed entries. Someone who seems to spend all their lives posting in the forums. The people with incredibly high experience levels....

Just the kind of people, who for better or worse make newgrounds what it is just as much if not more then the exceptionally popular artists.

So, until the newgrounds mag gets retooled, I will be every two weeks posting an interview here on this creepy newgrounds blog! Mostly because i'm really unorganized, and if I don't do something with them soon, I'm going to start losing them.

To start off, we have the most logical choice of interviews on people who make newgrounds newgrounds, Tom Fulp, who was gracious enough to grant this amazing interview. Taking time out of his busy scedual to let me bother him, and belive me, that's dangerous, i'm very anoying. The interview forman is simple, the interviewer just refers to themselves as Q. (Which stands for question. As they are interviewing it seems appropriate) and Tom is reffered to as A... becuase he's answering. Why not just call him Tom? i.... d... its to late to change it now! SHUT UP.... naw. i'll change it. Tom shall be called Tom. That makes more sense.

Q: Tom. In as brief a way as possible, so as not to overly bore the people who have seen and read it a million times, could you say what newgrounds is, and how it came about?

Tom: Newgrounds is the original and largest community of Flash artists on the web. It started in 1995 as my personal hobby while I was in high school, and I built a large audience with point and click web games such as Club a Seal and Assassin, the game where you kill celebrities. In 1998 I began to dabble with Flash, and made a lot of the early Flash games that spread around "virally". I always liked trying to prove Flash was more powerful than anyone realized, so I made stuff like side scrolling shooters and brawlers when most people were just using Flash to make interactive menus and website layouts. By 1999, Newgrounds was a top 600 website and I started showcasing Flash by other aspiring artists. Sorting through all the email submissions and building pages for them was becoming a full-time job, so I quit my job at Qwest, took a temporary leave from school, hired my friend Ross (programming whiz) and by 2000 we launched the automated Flash Portal. The rest is pretty much history.

Q: Thanks for the quick sum up. Now that everyone is caught up, on to bigger and better things.

In alot of ways it seems, along with many things on the Internet, the popularity of new grounds and how it turned into what it is today was mostly (if not completely) an accident. If you had it all to do over again, is there anything you would have done differently leading up to this point? (besides having a buzz saw arm attached in place of your normal weak human one)

Tom: I would be afraid to do anything differently because I might screw up the charm or history of NG, or change that one little thing that won over someone who is now important in the community. In retrospect, though, I wish I had been better focused on the right goals for NG, and not have been all over the place so much. We were always dabbling and experimenting with ideas, but in the end a lot of them haven't become part of the big picture of what NG is destined to be. Also, times really were different back then. Hardware was expensive and it couldn't handle as much traffic as it can today. Bandwidth was insanely expensive as well - our hosting costs in 2000 were more than double what they are today. My main goal was to just keep NG alive and hope better times were ahead. Thankfully, they were.

Q: Considering how things have changed so drastically in such a comparatively short period of time do you have any great fears for the future?

Tom: I think as long as we stay focused on our goals for NG, there will always be a healthy community around it. I do worry about a massive shift making NG completely obsolete, but we'll figure things out when the time comes.

Q: You spend alot of time on outside projects, in which you put an incredible amount of effort and love into. Though they are generally flash related, they are often not directly linked to the site. Could you see yourself in the far (or even near) future passing on newgrounds to someone else and focusing your efforts and time on these other projects?

Tom: Everything I've been doing with the Behemoth has been intended to be a direct relationship with NG - a gateway for Flash developers to see their work on consoles. It's been a long, hard, road, though. Ultimately, I never want to lose focus on Newgrounds. We will still make console games, but I don't want to be the programming bottleneck for those games. So really, the torch that will get passed will be to the next Flash programmer who gets to make a console game. Many years from now, I might be too old to be the "voice" of Newgrounds... At that time, I like to think I'll have picked a worthy successor from the community on the site.

Q: Hopefully whoever he or she is will be willing to face the fact that no matter what they do, you will always be remembered as the glorious perfect first. (like Washington!)

Now be honest. how often are you tempted to use your god like moderator power to crush the dreams of someone? I don't just mean good dreams necessarily, I also mean the dreams of people who seem to dream only of putting up animations of cats pooping on other cats. Do you ever dream of crushing their dreams?

Tom: Sometimes I do just want to delete a ton of people and smash the forums to pieces. But in the end everyone is just having fun in their own way, and we have to strike a balance with all of it. A lot of the troublemakers go on to make great stuff over the years, so you need to be patient with them while they figure that out.

Q: Now the stock answer for what your favorite website is would be newgrounds yes. But what is your secondary Internet home. Is there any other place on the web ware you spend far to much time? A mmorpg? A web forum? Another animation community ware you have to put a beard and unconvincing glasses onto your avatar so no one suspects and you can slowly plot in peace?

Tom: I rarely go anywhere other than Newgrounds anymore, because the web just annoys me too much. However, I do find frequent entertainment on sites like YTMND.com and... I hate to admit it... YouTube.

Q: Why do you hate to admit to visiting youtube? In alot of ways it's very similar to newgrounds. Only instead of moronic submissions, you get to see moronic people! Does it make you feel like a traitor? Like a traitor deep inside ware you feel rotten twisted and dead in that part of your soul that no longer feels emotion?

Tom: My distaste for YouTube is twofold:

1) I am jealous because we laid a lot of the groundwork for the user generated revolution, but rarely got the credit. People couldn't see past the "dark side" of NG, so we were neglected the mainstream praise. For years, we discussed expanding our platform to include video but didn't want to deal with issues of rampant video piracy, lawsuits and skyrocketing bandwidth costs. However, YouTube just waltzed in with enough money to weather the storm, and now they are billionaires and one of the most popular websites in the world. Newgrounds would have gone under if we had done video; it would have sent us into bankruptcy and would have alienated the thriving Flash scene we were founded on... But I'm still bitter that YouTube got all the glory, when its popularity came from pirated TV shows and not true user generated content. And much of the true user generated content on YouTube is crap, which leads me to...

2) We lost a lot of viewers to the crap on YouTube. You could see it on Alexa... When YouTube rocketed to fame, the traffic on ALL the traditional web entertainment sites plummeted. It created a massive shift, as all the web's innovative attempts to entertain the public were replaced by a fascination with watching teenage girls complain to their webcams. But in the end, I love YouTube as much as everyone else. People send me funny links there all the time. And there's a lot of stuff on YouTube that's funnier than a lot of the stuff on Newgrounds.

But Newgrounds will get funnier and maybe YouTube won't.

Q: We can only hope... so! As a well known person, there are of course large amounts of people who hate you just because. Do you ever find yourself doing searches to see just what it is people are saying about you?

Tom: When I'm in a bad mood and I just want to abuse myself, I search around to see what bad things people have to say about Newgrounds, much more than about me. And I get really pissed off when I find it on the forums of any number of soulless Newgrounds copycat sites. I feel like those people have been scammed, tricked into choosing the wrong side. But whatever, we're probably better off without idiots like that on the site.

Q: Right. We have plenty of or own loyal idiots! Now tom, It may come as a surprise, but people often wonder about you, yourself, as a person. Are there any things you think that people should know, to understand you? not of course that a creature as multi faceted and glorious as yourself (almost blinding) could be summed up quickly and easily.... but if you could sum yourself up quickly and easily how would you?

Tom: Ever watch that show Dexter on Showtime? That's sort of like me, only I'm just as passionate about NG as Dexter is about killing people.

Q: Can't you be both passionate about new grounds AND killing people?

Tom: I'm already spread too thin.

Q: Your site must generate huge amounts of fan, hate, and meh, mail. Directed at you, or just sent to you. Do you actually read and answer it all? Or do you have some kind of e-mail clown who does that sort of grunt work for you?

Tom: I do read ALL of my email. Everyone tells me I need to hire someone to do it, but I just can't do it... I feel like I would be too detached from "the pulse". I need to hear every bit of negative feedback, soak up every bit of good news and try to help everyone who deserves it. It really does take up too much of my time, though. More and more of my time revolves around running the business and dealing with email. It's not what I imagined my dream job being, but it's what I have to do to keep my dream job going. I really haven't figured out yet how I'm gonna make it all work for the long term but something will have to change.

Q: Lastly for now. What is the single most common question you get asked? And what is its answer? If by some freak coincidence its 'what is the single most common question you get asked' I do fear that causality might break... so if it's that. Don't tell me.

Tom: A lot of people still ask about Pico 2. I also get regular PMs asking why, if I run the site, I'm only a mid-level user in terms of experience points. I don't have good answers for either.

Q: I personally think you being a mid level user is one of the best parts of newgrounds. That's one of the things that makes newgrounds special. You set up a voting system. You set up a system ware people who vote more and write reviews and help people fix things and such, get a higher vote total. They matter more. What do you do? Do you set yourself at level 51 with a vote that counts as 50 votes?

No. You set yourself like any other user. When you vote you get experience just the same. I doubt anyone would bat any eye if you had done that thing, setting yourself up as way above everyone, with the power to make a submission or break it. But you didn't. I think that is commendable! Also. That's the last question (even though I answered it myself). So thanks for doing the interview, and have a good life.

*******

Now, if you think you, or someone you know, is the kind of person that would be worthy of interviewing to get a more indepth look at the inner workings of newgrounds and the people in it. Send me a PM or e-mail me at shiftingsodium@yahoo.com and let me know.

I love you all.


I am going to become a prostitute.

2008-04-11 22:18:37 by Emptygoddess
Updated

As my financial trouble has increased (Might lose my place of living. Yay!) I have decided to give into drastic measures. I have decided to become a prostitute.

No, I'm not going to have sex for money. I don't even like sex when it's strictly for recreation, and making it work on top of that? That would just be unpleasant.

I'm going to be a different, more logical kind of prostitute. It started a few weeks ago, when my ex wanted to play super smash brothers brawl. I said I didn't want to, so eventually, to get me to play, I was offered money. Money for playing brawl? Well I couldn't say no. oddly this caught on, other people did the same thing, and before I knew it, I had made about a hundred dollars playing brawl.

So, I offer you, the internet, a once in a lifetime opportunity. For twelve dollars, I will play against you online in super smash brothers brawl for the Nintendo revolution (wii). I will play for about half an hour. You may choose the arena, person I play as, rules, items, everything.

Why would you pay twelve dollars to fight someone you don't know? Maybe you are really annoyed at the things I write and do, and wish to beat the hell out of me in some way. Maybe you wish to test your skill against someone and have no friends. Maybe you want to give me money but don't like giving away anything for free and enjoy violence when possible.

Whatever the reason, I will accept your money, and fight you for the good of humanity.

If you're wondering about my own skills in brawl, I am... all right. Not great. Not horrible. Good enough that some will be like 'wow you're amazing' but if you kick ass you can still be like 'I SMACKED YOU DOWN BITCH! I SMACKED YO DOWN SO HARD YOU CAN RECOVER! YOU GOT BEAT SO BADLY YOU GUNNA CRY FOR A WEEK! GO AHEAD! CRY! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!' as you will most likely crush me, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

If you are interested, you may contact me on AIM at the screen name emptygoddes. Yes, it only has one S, no I can not spell. No, I will not be on any other messengers and there is no other way to contact me. I accept money via paypal. Brawl codes will be exchanged after any transaction takes place.

If you don't want to give me money but still snicker softly at my plight, feel free to link this to random people you think it might amuse so you may snicker together. Or simply copy and paste the whole thing some ware else.

Anyone who kicks my ass is free to comment here, about what a pansy wuss I am. It should be fun.

Contact info:

AIM: emptygoddes

Payment:

12 dollars (amarican. but any money is yay!) for half an hour of brawling.



No one randomly gives me five thousand dollars! I don't understand it. I don't randomly find a case full of mob money. I don't win the lottery. No one runs over my bike and hands me a blank check ware I attempt to use it for a million dollars and it works. No unknown relative dies and gives me huge bushels of money so numerous that I can swim in them...

It's just not right! It really is to bad that karma just doesn't work. the problem with the idea of karma, or at least the most popular aspect and idea of karma, is the fair universe. The universe sadly isn't fair, and it would be nice if it was, but you can easily see that sadly, it isn't fair.

Because I don't believe in karma, I try to be the best person I can. I know, that sounds a little counter intuitive, but think about. In a world ware the universe isn't going to bitchslap someone for being a jerk, or the universe isn't going to reward good people, then all we have is ourselves and our own actions.

So when a very nice person has lost their job, and will lose their apartment because they came up two hundred dollars short, the universe might be really nice, and maybe they'll get lucky, or it might be mean, and have them get mugged. The only way something nice can happen for sure for said person is to help them. *giggles* So I have on many occasions randomly given people large sums of money for no reason and with no desire of getting anything back. Becuase if karma doesn't egsist, the only thing that rewards kind decent people in this world, is you and me.

You think it would make you feel great, but it just kinda makes you feel more poor. I mean seriously, giving people free money? Such a crock.

Though of course if there's anyone out there who wants to give ME money I would love that! I'm a very disserving person. I'm nice, and kind, and after I shower I smell like soap. I work sixty hours a week and go to school full time, and spend the rest of the time working on my own stupid projects instead of sleeping, such as flash animations and such. If that's not worth five grand! nothing is.

Also of course, I will totally be the best friend of anyone out there with a net worth of ten million or more. warning though, I'm only being your friend for your money. I freely admit it! For ten million, best friend status is yours easily and cheaply. (comparatively, I mean you have ten million dollars.)

You could give money to a charity, to a loved one, to a dog, or to a perfect stranger! Really it's the only choice. The random stranger! So really, you should give me free money. It'll make you feel better, AND I will feel better. No needy people will get it, you won't have to worry about helping anyone (except me.)

Though I'm not really desperate. Though I am short on money, I won't starve to death if I don't get any, it'll just make life rock! You know you want to! Or if you know any millionaires, convince them I'm a better spending point then the robotic dinosaur they're going to buy and ride around on...

I want that robotic dinosaur more then they do.

If my elegant and beautiful words swayed anyone feel free to send me money via paypal to shiftingsodium@yahoo.com

For a small donation of five grand you could make my dreams come true! Also help fund a flash animation... you know you want to.

Also, I accept gifts of mansions, and gold bars.

Treasure maps are also acceptable.



Eternity is a long time. Perhaps the longest time any of us can ever expect to consider. What with it being eternity. If it's all the same to everyone else, I kind of want to see it.

But how to best achieve eternity? That's a question that is often asked. I mean we have lots of options, genetic... thingamabobs. Cloning. Having a brain downloaded to the computer... none of those sound all that fun, and have moral ambiguities. I mean is a clone really me? Is an electronic version really me? Probably, but it's all twisty and snaky and not something I need to deal with.

So I think I'll go with plan Gamma. Having my brain put in a robot. I mean when someone gets a cool robot leg after their leg gets bit off by a shark, they aren't suddenly inhuman. They may be cyborg freaks who will one day turn on us normies, but they're still the same person. So I'm just going to replace everything else. Get a nice robot body, all set up to keep my brain alive forever...

Though knowing me it probably won't actually take very good care of my brain, which is a problem. But at least I'll be more likely to see eternity then you suckers. On top of that, I'll have a buzz saw arm. BZZZzrrrrzzzznnnnn! Nrrrrnnnnnnzzzzzzrnnnnk! Saw through anything I want. Yet another reason to go for the robot body.


I hate everything you love.

2008-01-14 22:27:47 by Emptygoddess

That's right. I do. If you love something, with a passion, a great unbridled disturbing (not quite sexual but sometimes seeming to border upon it) passion, I most likely hate it. Or more appropriately, will come to hate it. It won't happen all at once no, not all at once, it will be a slow gradual process.

Perhaps I also once loved this thing, person, whatever. Perhaps I'm even the one that lead you to it, so you could start your own obsessive devotion. Maybe its just your youngest grandchild who plays baseball. It doesn't really matter. If we are in contact, and you decide the best way to show your love is to constantly talk to me about it. I will start to hate it.

You're not trying to make me hate it. I understand. You just love it so much. You love the way your grandchild almost caught that home run. Or the way luke skywalker's lightsaber is green and goes wooorsh. Or how johny depp is like totally the hottest guy like ever dijaknow? Or that Japanese animation is just so cool and the girls are so hot and....

It's not the subject matter that causes the hatred. It's you. Its your obsessive neurotic won't stop talking about it on and on and on nature that makes me hate it. Makes me hate you a little bit to. Yeah that's right. I said it. I kinda hate you. I kinda hate luke skywalker, your grandchild, johny depp, and Japanese cartoons. I kinda hate alot of other stuff you love as well.

I'll sit there, pretending to listen, but there's only so many times I can hear about the same subject and how much it 'rocks' or how it's 'the best episode ever' or how cool it was that guy did that kick flip. Yeah I hate the bible, and no I'm not anti religion, but you just have to keep preaching about how its going to save my soul and is the greatest thing sense sliced bread. WHICH i might add, no matter how much you love it, is not as cool as it seems. I hate sliced bread as well! Cutting bread isn't that hard, and no one ever raves about uncut bread. Oh but they rave about fresh baked bread.... and i hate that as well.

I hate Harry potter. I hate king Arthur and his whole band of knights. I can't stand anything to do with Zelda 64. It was a good game, but seriously, it wasn't religious. There was nothing 'orgasmic' about it. stop using the word orgasmic to refer to games anyways! I hate those damn mystery novels you love. Yeah. That's right, i was just pretending to care about the twist ending. You know what? I liked titanic. You did to. I was there. I remember you saw it like seven times in theaters. Oh now you claim its the worst movie ever, but do you think I've forgotten? No, i'm sitting a little bit behind you, staring hate beams through your neck as you talk about how titanic emotionally bankrupted a generation of movies.

Yeah. Ender's game. Great book. Until you got ahold of it. I used to read comics to. Tell i started going online and seeing all the stuff you had up on it, all your little web chats and your forums. All your petty arguments. Oh how could they kill megaforce X. He was the best character! one week, then the next week? How could they bring megaforce X back to life. This is totally messing with continuity. People wonder why comics are so screwed up and stupid? it's because of people like you. Not only do you read comics, but you, you also WRITE them. You spent 30 years reading them growing up and then the moment you get a chance to write a comic your mind swims "orgasmicly" with all the wonderful ideas you always had. All the ways you imagined the character and wished they could be. Oh it can be true.... who cares what rules exist already, what things are in your way. You'll kill any character, you'll write any new character, you'll give and take away powers, characters, settings, like playing cards until your favorite character is just the way you always wanted them to be.

And i hate you for it.

I also hate katanas. I don't know if you saw one to many samurai movies, or maybe you played chrono trigger a few to many times or what. I don't' care how many people you think they can cut through, i hate them. Yes. I still hate them even if the answer is 'infinite people'.

Yeah i hate unicorns. Especially if you think you are one. Dragons to. And any other mythical beast you may have been born as. No i'm not saying you can't have been one. I'm just saying you talk about them all the freaken time and it gets on my nerves and now, now i hate them.

But mostly i hate you. You have no boundaries. No little voice in your head that says when enough is enough. Your loves are unbridled disturbing and weird. Your attacks on things you feel don't quite match up with the strange pedestal image you have created of this... whatever your great love is. If you just took it a little less seriously, maybe, maybe there would be less hate...

But you won't do that will you? No you'll just get crazier and crazier, and I'll have to hate you more and more and more.

Don't worry, i won't tell you. Just like you won't tell me. I know you hate the things i love as well. Just let it fester inside. Dark and deep. Ware it can turn into cancer as all pent up things should.



Flinching.

You all know what flinching is. Or if you don't, I'll explain it so even the most inept of English speakers can at least make a passable attempt at understanding the nature of this article type doohikie.... dohickcy? do....hi...ck...y.... thingamajig!

Flinching is the reaction a human being, other living creature, (and possibly even an advanced enough robot) has to something startling them, or an initial fear of an object smacking into them. Such as when someone raises their hand to strike. When the creature, person, or robot, recoils in an attempt to shield themselves from the potential attack. This is a 'flinch'. Or more accurately, the beginnings of this motion are a flinch.

Now flinching is often seen as something 'womanly' 'weak' 'pathetic' and 'scaredy catish'. Somehow it is thought to be un manly, un macho, and un cool, to flinch. It shows you are scared of physical harm. It shows you have no killer instinct. I'm sure we've all seen the movie ware the main hero dude (he has sunglasses) is standing in the bar (he still has his sunglasses on inside) staring at all the almost as badass but not quite (even the one with sunglasses) evil dudes in the bar. WAZAM! SHINK! someone throws a knife at him, it buries itself into the wood directly next to his head. Our hero doesn't react, a second goes by as the knife quivers in the door frame. He tilts his glasses down so we can see his cold steel blue eyes piercing at the knife thrower, and in his husky deep sexy macho voice says... "Thanks. But I already shaved today."

Well admittedly, it was freaken COOL. But my question is, did he not react to the knife because he's a badass? Or because he's dumped down his survival reflex to a disturbingly low level?

People! We flinch for a reason. When a rock is flying at your head, maybe it'll miss, or maybe it'll crack your eye socket open and let the fluid that helps cushion your brain leak out all over the pavement! You can't really expect to be able to tell which it's going to do in the split second as it flies at you. that flinch, the throwing up of your arms in defense over your face, could very well save your brain fluid! People! You need your brain fluid! stop punishing people for flinching! It's a evolutionary survival tactic that has developed over thousands of years of developing! You're teaching them to fight their instincts.

And what does every badass steel eyed sunglasses wearing hero tell you to do? Trust. your. Instincts.

So instead of teaching people not to flinch. with games ware you punch people in the shoulders and if they flinch you punch them twice more, instead, teach them TO flinch. Teach them why flinching is important.

Here's a tip! Next time you're hanging out with your friends, jokingly pretend to hit them a few times, each time you do say 'don't flinch!' most people are going to flinch at first, especially if you almost do hit them. Do this over and over throughout the night. Over and over. They'll flinch less and less each time. Eventually they'll stop flinching. When they've stopped flinching entirely. Hit them.

This will teach them the importance of flinching.



In the world of flash animation, people often review them. This is understandable. They then give them scores based upon what they think of it. Sometimes the review will be incredibly positive. Shinning, gloriously glowing. Yet they will give it a five.

A five seems good, I mean the main new ground score is from one to five. Yet the review goes from one to ten. On a scale from one to ten, a five.... not the best. It makes me wonder if there are people out there who simply don't know the difference between the review system, and the general vote system. Perhaps they wanted to give it five out of five? Or four out of five? Not realizing when they review something the scoring is so odd and disheveled. Causing craziness and who knows what other kind of wacky hijinks.

Ah those reviewers. Silly people. Full of vip and vinegar. In alot of very real ways they are the life blood of the world. Without mass amounts of people to tell us how good something was, how would we know?

Oh decide for yourself you say? Let your own taste be the judge?

Do you have any idea how much crap is out there in the world. There is enough horrible badly made stuff to choke a moose. (mooses being notoriously hard to choke) If there wasn't someway to filter through it all, you'd never see anything you remotely liked.

That is why hoards of opinionated people are a good thing. A glorious shinning beacon of justice in this dark twisted world even. Popularity, mass culture, pop culture, it's all the same, it's all important.

HAIL YOU REVIEWRS! hail you for all time.